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Paul Merton unofficial
Missing
Words
Some of Paul's answers in the "Have I Got News For You" missing words round:
JUDGES FOUND GUILTY OF BEING ---- , ---- AND ----. "Young, gifted and black."
I MADE THATCHER ---- BOASTS NIGEL. "Is it 'Swallow' ?"
---- HALTED BY THE MIGHTY NEWT. " 'Super Toad !' The Mighty Newt is his arch enemy."
MELLOR EXPECTED TO ----. "F*ck monkey on a roundabout."
QUEEN TELLS CHARLES ----. " 'Give us a kiss, I feel fruity.' That would be a story wouldn't it."
QUEEN BEATS SPICE GIRLS IN ----. "Lesbian Mud Bath."
ANY FOOL CAN ----. "Host a TV news quiz."
CHICKEN DIALS ----. "Kentucky Fried People."
---- WITH A LLAMA. "Fencing. It's a new olympic sport, fighting with animals. Arm wrestle Puma's."
CHARLES ---- ON BLAIR'S BACKSIDE. "Beats out the theme to MATCH OF THE DAY."
---- FOR THE HAIRLESS. "Hairdryer with no motor."
EDWARD IN ---- AGAIN ! "Mrs. Simpson."
IRISH SNAIL THREATENS ---- . "the Pope by climbing up a step ladder and waving a razor blade in his face."
POLICE DOG IS SACKED FOR ---- . "Failing to protect Pope against Irish Snail."
MARTIANS TO GET INVITATION TO ---- . "Judge instant mashed potato contest."
ARCTIC EXPLORER TRIES ---- . "Stuffing a penguin when the wife's not looking. They can't fly away you know."
MUTANT LOBSTER IS ---- . "The arch enemy of super salmon."
DYKES DITCHES ---- . "and drains. It's a follow up to baubles, bangles and beads."
WIRELESS BRA PROMISES ---- . "The Archers, on the hour every hour."
And finally, our CAPTION COMPETITION:
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"Freeman, Hardy and Willis meet up
after several years." 
"Hello, this
is the Prime Minister. I'd
like to report a faulty mirror."